A Tale of Two Sons
This is a passage that is heavy on commandments, listing things that we must do and not do, and we need to pay heed to these things as sons held with a firm grip by the Lord and not as slaves.
Last week, we looked at the first of the list—Be imitators of God—which is the highest possible commandment. If Paul had asked us to imitate other apostles or himself, as he has sometimes done, we might have some hope of achieving it, but he has asked us to imitate God Himself. However, we are asked to obey as children imitating our Father. We are also called to love like Jesus did—self sacrificing and not because the recipient is deserving—giving of our very selves.
Today’s passage takes us to other difficult commandments. We are to do these things because we have been given favour and not to earn favour. Normally in life, we work to earn or gain in some way. Every man-made religion follows this pattern too, where we must do in order to get. This itself is proof that Christianity is not man-made, as it is counter intuitive. The first thing that cults destroy is salvation by grace through faith alone.
We must however also remember that the standard that we are held by is very high. Grace ought to move us to this high standard of morality and purity. It does not say “avoid these things” but that such things should not be mentioned or talked about or joked about.
A FAMILY MATTER
[Therefore be imitators of God, as BELOVED CHILDREN . . . Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the SONS OF DISOBEDIENCE.]
We are to understand these commands in the context of sonship. The passage mentions two sons. Beloved children (Vs 1) and Sons of disobedience (Vs 6). So we are all sons and daughters. The question is who is our father. Just as we are called to imitate God as His children, unbelievers also imitate their father, the devil. It is a family matter, depending on which family you belong to, depending on whose nature we have. Are we sons and daughters of God, in which case there will be a family resemblance. We will imitate our Father and the ultimate example, the Son. We will find that certain patterns of behaviour and talk is out of place in this family, and we will seek to adjust, to honour the Father. 1Jn 3:4-10 speaks of practicing sin and practicing righteousness, and so we are not talking about sinless perfection. The practice makes our identity known.
Paul is showing us what is proper among the saints to practice. We should also notice that of these two sons, Paul is addressing only one of them, the sons (and daughters) of God. Many Christians think that it is our job to call the world back to God’s standard morality. It is not that there are different standards for the church and the world, for there is only one standard. But our identity drives our activity. So, preaching moral transformation to those who do not have the identity as God’s children is futile. We preach the gospel, so that the identity changes, and then the activity changes. We need to be all about the gospel, when it comes to our outward focus. Paul had every reason to condemn the world for their immorality, but he does not rail against the culture; instead he reminds the church of their identity.
A HIGH STANDARD
The standards of God are incredibly high, although these must be pursued from a sense of security. We read in Isaiah 6, how the attributed of holiness has a three-fold mention: Holy holy holy. It is the only attribute said in a three-fold repetition. It is never love love love, justice justice justice, or wrath wrath wrath. His standards are utterly holy. Not even a hint of these unholy things should be mentioned in the family. They should not even named. They should not figure in our thoughts or our jokes.
When young people ask about how far is too far before marriage, we must emphasise that they will need to make the move from ‘sister in Christ’ to ‘wife’ on the wedding day. Not even a hint of impurity. Not even to be named . . .
Three things mentioned in Vs 3 [But SEXUAL IMMORALITY and all IMPURITY or COVETOUSNESS must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints]
Sexual immorality – any sexual activity outside marriage between one man and one woman
Impurity – behaviour outside the purity standards of God.
Covetousness – which is the subject of the 10th commandment When our desires are inappropriate, the very desires have to be repented of and overcome.
Paul calls it idolatry. Idolatry is when something is elevated to a state that belongs to God. Covetousness is a form of idolatry, you are elevating an object to where God should be, making it a focus of worship. Paul is connecting the 10th commandment with the 1st and 2nd commandments. In the Jewish mind, breaking Commandment 1 is the worst sin – idolatry. Paul says if you break Commandment #10, you break Commandment #1.
Three things mentioned in Vs 4 [Let there be no FILTHINESS nor FOOLISH TALK nor CRUDE JOKING, which are out of place]
Filthiness – that which is vulgar and distasteful
Foolish talk – talk that is nonsense and babble and unfiltered and irreverent.
Crude joking – making light of things that ought not to be made light of, using humour to bring up what would otherwise be out of place and inappropriate. Humour makes ideas seem more acceptable and allows us to bring things that are taboo into normal conversation, and before we know it, it becomes acceptable. As God’s children, we must exclude such things from our conversation.
A JOYFUL ALTERNATIVE
[but instead let there be THANKSGIVING]
Paul does not only say avoid this and this. But he says: “but instead let there be thanksgiving.” John Stott said that the best way to fight against covetousness is to thank God for what we have.
Is it wrong to want something? No, but it is wrong to covet. We can want things in order to give thanks to the God who provides. You can desire marriage, but you cannot covet your neighbour’s wife. So you can want things for which you will thank God. If we thank God for His wonderful gifts whether it is marriage and intimacy or whether it is jokes and humour, we are less likely to allow these things to become dishonourable behaviour.
With thanksgiving, we guard against many sins.
A FIRM HAND
[For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not become partners with them]
Is Paul saying that it is actually possible for a son of God to become a partner with the sons of disobedience. It is almost like asking: Is it possible for Christians to lose their salvation? If there is no possibility, why is this warning given?
“For you may be SURE . . .” Eph 1:6. If Paul is sure of this, we should be too. “who will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Cor 1:8. So why is Paul warning them?
As a parent, we have things that we would never allow our children do. We would never allow them to play in the middle of a busy road or walk home alone on dangerous lonely street, or play with matches. One of the ways we achieve this is by warning them of the dangers of doing them. We will not allow them, and yet we warn them as a part of the measure to make sure that they never do those things. The Lord ensures that we are not lost, or snatched out of His hand, and a part of His care is to warn us. The warning is not because He will allow these things to happen to us but because these things will not be allowed to happen to us.
We do not pursue holiness because our place in the family is provisional, but we do so from a place of security. We pursue holiness and purity because we have a holy God as our Father.