Fathers’ day

Preacher:

Main Scripture: Ephesians 6:4

Series:

Fathers’ day

Sermon Text: Fathers, . . . bring them (your children) up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Eph 6:4)

This is the first time I have ever preached a Fathers Day sermon. For many years, I did not know that there was such a thing as Fathers Day. I do not object to having a day for this, although I do not like the way people commercialise it. Like Mothers Day, this is a chance for families to tell mums/dads how special they are. But for believers, the idea of Fathers day has special meaning, as they can use this time to see what the Bible says about the role of fathers. What should a good father be like? Like with any other matter, we look at the word of God. The God who made the family is the One who can tell us how the families should function.

The Bible is very clear about the order. In Genesis we see what God said to Eve: God said: Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you. (Gen 3:16). Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. (Eph 5:22-24). God has an order in the family, in the home, for husband and wife. In God’s order, wives have to lovingly submit to their husbands, husbands are to be loving heads over their wives, and this headship is not a dictatorship. They must also be teachers of their children. To Timothy Paul writes about pastors: He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, 5 for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church? (1 Tim 3:4-5). About deacons also, he writes: Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well. (1 Tim 3:12). But this rule is not just for pastors and deacons, but all fathers have to care for their households and their children.

Our text for today (Eph 6:4) is an instruction from the Head of the church, from God Himself. Fathers must bring up their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. This is where you see the difference between good non-Christian fathers and good Christian father. The good non-Christian fathers bring up their children according to their own values and morals. They base it upon what they think is right and proper for their children. But the Christian father will bring up the children in the discipline and instruction OF THE LORD. It won’t be according Dr. Spock or any other well-known authority. All the time, Christian fathers will ask themselves How does GOD want me to bring up my children?

Often this task of bringing up children is hard for fathers, and many consider it overwhelming. Fathers feel inadequate and then they are afraid. Young fathers can feel afraid thinking that they are ill-equipped for this task. But isn’t it like that with other biblical instructions too. Do we love the Lord with all our heart and all our soul and all our mind? We know that we do not do it perfectly, but we want to. If you have a concern for the spiritual wellbeing of your children, then you are equipped to raise them in the fear and admonition of the Lord.

God has given you your children only for a few years. In a sense they are yours for life, but Fathers, you have a small window of opportunity to teach your children. That window is about 12 years. That child will not be a child for long. They will soon go to university or work. If they are not Christians, the world will be very attractive. So you have a few years to teach and instruct them.

Fathers, what do you consider to be the most important for your children? Is it education? Their sports, hobbies, toys, their happiness? Their likes? Their dislikes? Are these more important than their spiritual wellbeing? Do you think they have to be happy, most importantly? No, the most important thing is their spiritual status. What will it profit a child if they have all you dream for them and all they want in the world and lose their soul? If they have a top job or do well in sports, but if they go to a lost eternity, what is the use? We cannot save our children. Only God saves. But you can teach them. This is what God has called you to do. Please do not whittle away the time on trivia and trinkets that do not matter for eternity. How is this done? How am I going to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord?

First, TEACH YOUR CHILD BY EXAMPLE: When Jesus was on earth, He had major problem with the authorities. Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples, “The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses' seat, so do and observe whatever they tell you, but not the works they do. For they preach, but do not practice. They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on people's shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to move them with their finger. (Matt 23:2-4). Jesus’ issue was not with the teaching of the religious leaders, but their practice and their hypocrisy. Dads, example is very important. You must have this tool in your tool box. Your example is so important.  Jesus said to His disciples: If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet.  For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.  (Jn 13:14-15).  Peter wrote about Jesus being an example for us: For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. (1 Pet 2:21). Paul wrote to Timothy: “Command and teach these things. Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. “(1 Tim 4:11-12). And to the church in Corinth, he wrote:  I do not write these things to make you ashamed, but to admonish you as my beloved children. For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel. I urge you, then, be imitators of me.(1 Cor 4:14-16). What sort of an example are you to your children. Do they know that you love God first, that you seek God’s kingdom first. Do they see Christ in you by your zeal for God—for God’s house, for prayer, for worship, and for the gospel. Do your children know that you love God by the things that you do? You are a sermon in shoes to your children. But this applies to mothers and uncles and aunties and everyone involved in the lives of children. We are sermons in shoes. Dads, nothing is going to discourage or confuse children more than inconsistency in your example.

Second, TEACH YOUR CHILD BY EXPLANATION: Fathers, please note that instruction of the Lord is not left to the Pastors and Sunday School teachers and others in the family. It is your role to instruct and teach your children. However, the input of the church and Sunday School is also vitally important. Fathers, children should see that worship is important and that you want them to come to church and learn. And, you must reinforce the truths taught in church at home. You will have more influence on your children than almost anyone else will ever have in the whole world. This is frightening thought, but we have been given our children to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord faithfully. God through Moses commanded the Israelites to be diligent in teaching the law to the children: And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.(Deut 6:6-9). This is a challenge to the fathers and mothers and to all the household about how to bring up the children. If fathers are not fulfilling this responsibility, then mothers should step in (and aunties and uncles and others). Timothy was influenced by his mother and grandmother. You may say: I am an ordinary person, I am no theologian, am I expected to teach my children? Yes, and say: Even if I can do it only in a simple way, yet I will do it. I will talk to brothers and sisters in Christ about the truths of the Lord, and then I will share them with my children.

Third, TEACH YOUR CHILD WITH EXPECTATION: To teach with no expectation is simply soul destroying. Everyday, you plan the day, and you expect at the end of the day to have finished tasks. To say you will do this or that without seeing much point in it is drudgery. How do you conduct family worship? You must do it with expectation and pray that God will lead and use the word that is read to work in the hearts of the children. If you do not expect that, you will eventually stop having worship. You can see this expectation expressed in this proverb: Train up a child in the way he should go;  even when he is old he will not depart from it. (Prov 22:6). What are you expecting, fathers, when you teach your children. Granted, you cannot say that I will teach them, and they WILL  come to faith in Christ. No, only God can save them. But you can say: If I faithfully and diligently teach my child the things of God, you can know that no matter how long the child lives, that instruction will be with the child; whether or not they come to faith rests with the Lord and His grace. even if they themselves do not come to faith. Paul reminded Timothy about what his mother and grandmother had taught him: ”But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.” (2 Tim 3:14-15). Are you teaching your children with expectation, knowing that what you are teaching is going to live with them. Are you teaching them the word of God that is able to make them wise for salvation? Even when they leave your home and travel to wherever they need to go, they will never be able to get away from the truths that you have taught them. The last lines of the old poem by Ross Wallace, speaking of mothers says:” For the hand that rocks the cradle / Is the hand that rules the world.” This is not really a 'Christian' poem, but those lines, though exaggerated, are there to show you the importance of the role of a mother. This is true of fathers as well. Their role too has far-reaching influences on their children's lives. Dads, you can be a wonderful blessing in your home. If they grow up with a godly mother they will grow up and call her blessed. So too the kids will look back and thank the Lord for their fathers too. I had my father for 25 years. One time, I tripped over something in the dark—we had no electricity in those days—and I realised that I had tripped over my father’s feet as he was kneeling at the couch in prayer. So too I have sometimes looked through the keyhole and seen my mother on her knees. When your children grow up and remember you, what will stick in their mind? The memories will last as long as they live. My father was a quiet man who loved Christ and he longed to see his children be instructed in the things of God. Today, he lives for ever with Christ.

It is not my intention to bring to you a hard message. My intention is that I might be able to bring God’s word to you, so that you may put it into practice, and see your children grow up to be good citizens, children who know the instruction of the Lord, and come to faith in Christ. We yearn that by the grace of God, there will be household salvation. So that when we gather together in heaven our children and grandchildren will be there with us.